NEWSLINE

     1. Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind. 2. You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over   the future. 3. Love ...... and you shall be loved. 4. God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him. 5. All people smile in the same language. 6. A hug is a great gift... One size fits all. It can be given for any occasion and   it's easy to exchange. 7. Everyone needs to be loved... Especially when they do not deserve it. 8. The real measure of a man's wealth is what he has invested in eternity. 9. Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it. 10. It's important for parents to live the same things they teach. 11. If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, you have no today to be thankful for. 12. Happy memories never wear out.... Relive them as often as you want. 13. Home is the place where we grumble the most, but are often treated the

  If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can get going without pep pills, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him, If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without liquor, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, ...Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

                      "SIPPING VODKA" A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit,   I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I   take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the     sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.   He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door: 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as daddy, junior and   the spook. 8. David slew Goliath, h